Right place, right time

I am not a religious person. At all. But I do believe in some kind of spirituality, and that's what this post may smell of.


Don't know how about you, but for me, everything I do requires right timing/conditions/enter whatever you want. And it applies to absolutely EVERYTHING, from craft to work to fun to intimacy. When regarding to crafting it means one particular thing - there are no shoulds.


I'm reading a lot of teach-yourself online sources on how to develop a successful home based business, and most of them advise creating some kind of routine and sticking to it. Do this or that everyday, blah blah blah. Sometimes I'm in this really self-perfecting frame of mind and I'm even trying to. Guess what - never works.


I much prefer my own way of doing things. There are no shoulds. You know all those voices that tell you that you absolutely have to do this or that or something terrible happens? I tell them all to shut up and I kick them out of the door. The reason being - they are a terrible bunch of liars.


Ultimately - what would happen if I don't list/stitch/write when I don't feel to? See, inner critic saying that my business will never get off the ground is pure bullshit, for one simple reason - I love what I do. I stitch because I enjoy it very very very much. I'm putting all this online because I kind of like it too. And if I'm in no mood to do any of this - the only thing that happens is that I avoid making/publishing something of inferior quality. I don't need to force myself to do any part of my work if I don't feel like doing it. I'm sure as hell that some time will pass and I will be able to do this with all the joy and satisfaction.


This 'rule' applies to everything. I don't care if you take it up or no, but I can tell you one thing - following it makes me one happy person. Listening to shoulds and ignoring what I really want to do makes me miserable. Which one would you prefer? I have no doubts.


And you know what's the best part? Some magic happens, that it all works out fine in the end :)

Bored to tears

I was really, really bored yesterday. More than that, I was THIS close to writing a post about it! Luckily for me, someone distracted me halfway through typing, I saved a draft and returned to have a look at it only today. What a pile of rubbish it was! Delete, delete, delete!


Why I'm telling you all that? Because I want to admit that boredom DOES happen. I guess everyone gets those moments, when nothing seems interesting, worth of your attention or a smile. Man, how frustrating those moments are!


I've observed one thing yesterday. The harder I struggled to think something up, to find something interesting to do, the worse it actually got. Not only I wasn't really hooked, I also started to hate things I would otherwise love to do! Lucky me, I didn't end up stitching so I can still embroider a thing or two :).


New items added to the shop almost daily. Check it out, make my day :).


Oh, by the way, did you know that a new book by Terry Pratchett has been out for about a month? I found out yesterday-ish and have been itching to run to a bookstore ever since. Broke as I am, I will have to wait some more, but if you are bored and looking for a good read, I shall wear midnight would be the perfect antidote. Even if you don't treat Pratchett as a guru (god incarnated, the wisest creature on Earth :) as I do, you're guaranteed a good laugh.


Nothing kills boredom better.

Surprise, surprise!

Let me bore you with some stats today.


Until yesterday, my total blog pageviews for this month equalled 104.
Then the surprise arrived - 80 (!) visits within one day.


I AM not only surprised, I am positively shocked.


I am also wrecking my head trying to find an explanation for this phenomenon.


Do I have a good fairy out there who corralled some readers and kicked them in direction of this blog? If so, hell, I'm grateful, dear Fairy :)


Or does it have something to do with the subject of my last post? I'm wondering - is it maybe that there are more people out there who are tormented (:P) by some metaphysical questions and stumbled here in search for answers? I find it quite hard to believe, but as long as I don't have any intelligence on the subject, I can let the imagination soar.


I would very much appreciate some feedback, though. Can I ask you a favour, dear Reader? Could you let me know, in comments or otherwise, what paths brought you here, on this website? What were you looking for to find my humble persona? I'm not being nosy, just curious :). Well, I can offer something in exchange - if you tell me what you liked, I can promise to write more about this subject. Does it sound like a good deal?


All this is also to say hi to all who travelled here, even if by accident. It's more 'cool' to pretend indifference, but I'll be brave enough to say that I DO care, that it feels pleasant to be read and that I feel grateful.

Acceptance?

There will be some philosophy in today's post, so if it gives you the creeps - turn back here and run!!!


See, I'm curious. One of those big, 'what it's all about?' questions. It's not really that I'm looking for an answer - I guess everybody has one, and surely I've read so many versions of how it's supposed to be like and what we are supposed to do, that my head starts spinning as soon as I think about it. But I'm still curious.


I was given a book today, on how to defeat self-hatred. I think it's a big, big, big issue and I would so much love to live without this cruel critic in my head, and maybe with some joy instead?


One of the things the book (and many others) say is that acceptance is the key. That the greatest blessing a human being can achieve is to accept WHAT IS. It's hard to do, maybe one of the hardest tasks out there and it surely brings a lot of inner peace once you manage to get there. All the magic, all the happiness is there, just as promised.


And yet... If we accept what is, how could we ever CHANGE it? Where the hell would a motivation for a change come from?


I do understand and value the tranquility that acceptance brings. It might be the only possible way out of hopeless situations, those that we simply cannot escape. It's a fantastic anaesthetic when you're stuck somewhere and cannot leave. But it's nothing, NOTHING, compared to satisfaction you feel when you successfully change some deep shithole in your life into something better. It can feel like a paradise, because not only the reason for your pain disappeared, you also have the knowledge that it was you who caused it.


See, I don't know, and probably never will (and how much I've weakened this post by saying so - wouldn't it be great if I had The Answer?). What I do know is that sometimes acceptance is only giving up sweetened by some agreeable self-lies. And sometimes the need to change is just fear in disguise.


What a messy life we're living, hey?

First sale!

Ok, I'm pale and proud and just have to say something about it.


Last week I have made my very first online sale. No, not on Etsy (though I would very much love to:), but on Ebay.


Just to put everything into the right perspective - I am richer by one whole euro after this success, but it's not about the money, not right here, not right now.


Ebay does this wonderful thing once in a while - they announce 'free listing' weekend. So I figured that if I have completely nothing to lose, it's worth a try. Just to get accustomed to dealing with customers, etc. etc.


I've gathered some paper craft supplies over last few months, so this is the direction I went. I've put on auction sets of paper cut daisies in four colours. After my first try - nothing happened. Same after the second. But after the third... THE email arrived into my mailbox, saying - You did it! Your item sold!


I was quite stressed about my ability to provide fantastic customer service. The very phrase brings bad associations to my mind after some years of payroll jobs, when I was paid to sell goods I didn't give a toss about. But I tried my best. I thought of the buyer as of a friend. I waved aside all inner screams about professionalism, and simply tried to add some warmth to the package. I've slipped in some extra daisies - hell, just for luck. I've hand written a sincere thank you note. And guess what - I already have a very good feedback. But more important than that - I feel great inside. I feel I've handled it just as I wanted to. I know I will be able to handle any future transactions in exactly the same way. It's a great relief. It feels fabulous.


And there's another 'free listing' weekend on Ebay starting yesterday, so who knows, maybe soon I'll have more experiences of the kind?

Autumn blues

Is it just me or everything suddenly turned cold and nasty?


Mid-October, mornings are getting misty and I keep my socks on when I go to bed at night (or morning, as it so often happens, me being an owl-type of person).


More blues inside and for some reason I cannot find enough energy to radiate optimism and belief in glorious future. Very non-marketing, heh?


I blame it on the autumn blues and I'm going to stick to it, at least here.


So, news from the shop will be quite cold and unenthusiastic, too. Nothing much happens. A handful of new views every day (hey, one item is at 99, one more and I can celebrate! A friend of mine tells me that the sales will start once I hit 100 and that statistics don't lie - hell, I hope he's right:), an item renewed once every few days, but that's it. Pretty monotonous.


Well, there's a new banner popped into both Etsy and the blog (which is here! here! scroll up to the top and see for yourself!) - I seem to finally be getting hold of graphic programs. A side effect of web design course. What do you think? At least now it shows what I actually do.


I also started work on a website for NoKitschProject. I have quite a clear idea for the whole thing set up in my head and I will get there eventually, but with the autumn atmosphere smashing my head to pieces it's going slowly, oh sooo slowly. Making a website is a simple affair, but it's unbelievably time-consuming. Also, after some point, very repetitive. And I'm waiting for some inspiration to come up with the words that will be just right, not some nauseous cliches or pure marketing bullshit. Quite tricky.


As I said, I'll get there eventually.


I'm also halfway through photo session for my new zodiac jewelry line - I have about a quarter of the pics, but can't bring myself to move and finish it off. Autumn blues again, and the fact that I'm fighting an endless battle with my camera does not help, either. I want to put them up on the web in one go, so that the collection stays whole, so I cannot move until the photographic task is done. I'll get there eventually...


Shame, because I'm quite curious if the zodiacs will be liked. Hell, I'm a bit low hope-wise these days, and I'm losing belief in value of what I do. I know I shouldn't (how come that people doing cruel, nasty, soulless things NEVER seem to hesitate?), and I know this too shall pass, but I'm only human.


That would be the end of autumn blues for today, thank you very much. Hopefully I will write again soon and in a better mood. Hopefully I won' t need the spring to arrive.


Oh, above you can see another pic from my playful session with Vanda. Quite something, eh?